


Miracle Child Askblog Archive

by bramblePatch



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Experimental, Gen, Multi, Worldbuilding, askblog questions, quirked text, supplemental material
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-08-30 03:19:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16756660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bramblePatch/pseuds/bramblePatch
Summary: In which we completely ignore the fourth wall to answer your pressing questions about the fanfiction Miracle Child.





	1. Going Cold-Gobblefowl

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Miracle Child](https://archiveofourown.org/works/266683) by [bramblePatch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bramblePatch/pseuds/bramblePatch). 



> So. With there being rumblings of Tumblr eventually going the way of so many fandom platforms in the past, it seems like a good idea to transcribe the ask blog archive to AO3. Mostly these are in chronological order; a few questions have been skipped or received minor edits for continuity. Your patience while I work on this is appreciated; it's a lot of material.
> 
> As long as Tumblr continues to exist, you can still find the ask blog at miraclechildask.tumblr.com.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile: The Sburb team splits up at conscription; the Grand Highblood takes a personal interest in his descendent; Gamzee's old friends assume he's dead; Vriska engages in piracy; New friendships are formed.

**Lazapi, how did you learn to throw pens with that kind of skill? I'm really impressed with it.**

Aw, that~ ~weet!

Penkind i~ my primary ~pecibu~, actually. Y.u knOw, ~.me kid~ ju~t pick up sOme kind .f imprOvi~ed weap.n, becau~e it'~ what we alway~ have tO hand? It'~ a ha~~le t. keep a ~eparate weapOn ar.und when I'm perfectly deadly with my art ~upplie~. I have a cOuple .f palate knive~ ~ta~hed in a Knifekind card, tO., althOugh I'm n.t a~ gO.d with them a~ with a pen.

**Vriska, was this really the best time to be stealing a ship?**

Ok, 8ut s88, your question makes a veeeeeeeery question88le assumpti8n: that th8re is 8ny time that is NOT the 8est time to 8e stealing a ship!

Yeeeeeeeeahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

**So, the trolls that stayed behind are Karkat, Tavros, Sollux, and Kanaya? (The last one is a guess because I can't see Rainbow Drinkers being accepted with open arms. But, she's a really rare blood color so i'unno)**

:33< *the furrocious lioness who has not actually apurred in the story arrives to answer your question*  
:33< almost!  
:33< it's me, karkitty, tavros, and sollux in the mane group  
:33< aradia's around here somepawce, but we don't see much of her! i think she's been time travelling agina or something.  
:33< and fefurry is trying to train up a couple of fishtroll kids to help her feed her lusus now that eridan left :((  
:33< we haven't heard from kanaya, but it's only been a couple of days!  
:33< and communication with the fl33t is frisky and unreliabble, even with sollux to help.  
:33< but jade bloods are so rare they'll purrobably not even notice she's a rainbow drinker!

**Arsast, Lazapi, Rossan, Sephar, and everybody else, did you want to become Subjugglators?**

Rossanhere! Yeah, sureImean it's not like there's a wholelotofbetteroptions for me to choosefrom anyway, arethere? Subjugglator's kidn of the cremedelacreme. Highrankingenough we'll do whateverthehellwewish, justlowenough to avoidtoomuch politics.

(>| besides this is one of the few forces that openly encourages worship of the mirthful messiahs |<)  
(>| that counts for a lot for some of us when it gets down to it |<)  
(>| i should probably introduce myself huh |<)  
(>| hi i'm lydain |<)

Uhhh, St@iko chiming in.  
I @ctu@llly w@sn't sure wh@t to expect.  
I me@n not th@t I'm upset ex@ctly with where I got put.  
I just w@sn't entirely sure whether I w@s going to fall on the blue or indigo side of the divide.  
So I guess I didn't h@ve a lot pl@nnned out?

Heck ye~. I actually hiked .verland fOr like a week t. get tO thi~ recruitment field - there wa~ an.ther a lOt cl.~er tO my hive.  
But c.me On, getting t. train directly under the Grand HighblO.d? Well, alm.~t directly under, unle~~ yOu're Gamzee. ~till a pretty awe~.me Opp.rtunity.  
(Wait, dO y.u guy~ recOgnize me yet? Thi~ i~ Lazapi.)

Sephar speaking.  
I actually originally. Intended. To attempt to pass as an aquatic.  
An acquaintance convinced me. That was less. Than wise. He was probably. Right. I suppose.

uhh yeah I was right. {if you guessed this was Arsast by process of elimination, you win jack squat because guess what? it was pretty obvious} {and yes this is me officially confirming that Seph and I know each other, whether she wants to admit it or not. we're not besties or ?secret lovers? or anything, but we've met a few times}  
I'm hoping for transfer to laughsassin, actually, but that's like an extra-elite force that draws from the subjugglator randks? so I'm on the right track. gotta do my time around here with these jokers.

**Karkat, how is being a religious figure treating you?**

YOU WOULD BE FUCKING AMAZED AT EXACTLY HOW LITTLE BEING THE SECOND COMING OF THE SUFFERER HELPS WHEN YOU'RE HIDING IN THE FUCKING BADLANDS  
IN THE RAIN  
WITH NEPETA AND SOLLUX AND TAvROS BEING THE ONLY TROLLS WHO ARE NOT TOO UTTERLY SHITFACE AWED BY YOUR DIVINITY TO TALK TO YOU.

**Equius how are you doing all alone? without your moirail? Or Aradia, if you two were still a thing, whichever thing you were? ;-;**

D--> If it is any of your concern  
D--> I am  
D--> coping

**Tavros, do you miss Gamzee?**  
&  
**Hi Tavros and Karkat, do you think about Gamzee often? do you think there is any chance he might still be alive?**

REALLY?  
HOW FAR UP YOUR FUCKING WASTE CHUTE DID YOU HAVE TO WEDGE YOUR HORNS TO POSSIBLY COME UP WITH THE INSANE DELUSION THAT YOU MIGHT  
BY ANY CHANCE  
EVER  
HAVE TALKING-ABOUT-GAMZEE-PRIVILEGES?  
GET YOUR SORRY ASS OUT OF MY REBELLION.

uH, kARKAT, i DON'T THINK THAT REALLY, uM, hELPS MUCH,,,  
wITH, uH, wELL,,, aNYTHING,,,  
aND ACTUALLY, i'D, uM, kIND OF LIKE TO, tALK ABOUT HIM, a lITTLE,  
sOMETIMES,,,

DON'T PUSH IT, TAVROS.

**Grand Highblood! What do you plan to do about that pesky infiltrating instigator? The one rumored to have wings, of all things.**

I've got her DESCRIPTION, SUCH AS WE GOT, out to all the right people. Still not sure WHO THE FUCK SHE IS, but if she hasn't crashed AND FUCKING BURNED YET, I'm willing to bet we'll catch up with her. SOONER OR LATER.

Not actually HOLDING OUT MUCH HOPE we'll find ANYTHING, though. THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY A KID HER AGE could possibly have experiece in that kind of craft. She'd have to be ONE HELL OF A FUCKING LUCKY BITCH jut to get out of fleet space WITHOUT running into something.

Just wish I could figure out WHO she is. I mean, where the hell does a BLUE-BLOOD get WINGS? I've NEVER seen them on any troll higher than a low yellow. If I were two hundred sweeps younger, I'D CALL IT A FUCKING MIRACLE.

**Don't you believe in miracles any more, Grand Highblood?**

COME ON, did I FUCKING SAY THAT? It's one of those words that LOSES ALL FUCKING MEANING IF YOU USE IT CONSTANTLY, that's all. Live as LONG AS I DO, and eventually you're gonna see enough GENUINE MIRACLES TO PUT THE INEXPLICABLE IN PERSPECTIVE.

Kid sprouts a couple of extra limbs? INTERESTING, SURE, but THAT AIN'T NOTHING, IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS.

**Hi Grand Highblood! Tell us about what you were like when you were a kid :)**

That was a LONG FUCKING TIME AGO, but I'm pretty sure I was LESS OF AN ABJECT FAILURE than Gamzee.

**Grand Highblood, did you know the Summoner?**

Summoner, Summoner...

Oh, you mean that UTTER DOUCHEFUCK WITH THE STUPID HAIR who managed to inspire THE VAST HISSY-FIT and get everyone OVER THE FUCKING AGE OF EIGHT banished from our home planet FOR ALL TIME? Yeah, I remember him.

**Tavros you should talk about Gamzee if you want to! Especially if it'll make you feel better at all.**

i'D, uH, lIKE TO? bUT kARKAT REALLY DOESN'T, wANT TO THINK ABOUT gAMZEE AT ALL,  
aND sOLLUX DIDN'T KNOW HIM, tHAT WELL, rEALLY, i MEAN THEY WERE FRIENDS, bUT MOSTLY BECAUSE THEY HAD OTHER FRIENDS, iN COMMON,  
aND, uM, tALKING TO nEPETA, aBOUT THIS,,, tHAT JUST SOUNDS HORRIBLY AWKWARD, aND, uH, kIND OF TERRIBLE, aFTER, yOU KNOW,,,  
wHAT HAPPENED, AFTER i,,, uH, yEAH, }:(  
i'M NOT REALLY SURE, iF ANYONE ELSE AROUND HERE EVER EVEN, uM, mET HIM,

**Hey Grand Highblood, how'd you kill Dualscar? I must have been fucking hilarious.**

I honestly don't fucking REMEMBER ANY DUALSCAR. I've culled a FUCKTON OF TROLLS in my time, though, so that PROBABLY DOESN'T MEAN MUCH.

You're probably right, though. IF I KILLED THIS GUY, it's a fucking safe bet that it WAS REALLY FUCKING FUNNY.

**Hi guys! What do your training consist of and what things do you study?**

(>| hey how long as this been sitting here |<)  
(>| i guess i'll take this one if no one else is going to |<)

(>| it's pretty evenly split between physical combat training and schoolfeeding |<)  
(>| we spar against each other a lot which actually gets kind of awkward because it give rossan an excuse to hateflirt with everyone in a really obvious way |<)  
(>| the schoolfeeding has a pretty heavy focus on history literature and the arts |<)

(>| i think eventually we're going to get formal instruction in fear manipulation but at this point it kind of seems like they're waiting to see who's figured it out on their own |<)


	2. Mistakes Were Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile: Gamzee carries out an execution; the Rebellion begins to organize; Lazapi mourns; Terezi accuses Gamzee of impersonation; Plans are laid to contact the rebellion; Eridan and Kanaya are both still out of contact.

**Why exactly did you want Lazapi to kill her green-blooded friend?**

What kind of subjugglator BRINGS HOME FUCKING STRAYS? The Kometes novitiate has promise, but she's REALLY FUCKING CARELESS ABOUT SHIT and next time it probably won't be just her sweepmates that she EMBARASSES THE ENTIRE SUBJUGGLATOR FORCE in front of, you know? She's got a decent head on her shoulders, NOW SHE JUST NEEDS TO LEARN TO FUCKING USE IT.

**Hi guys! Mind telling us about your psychic abilities, are you all able to cast chucklevoodoos or just some of you and to what extent? Only Gamzee and Lazapi have been seen in action and Gamzee's seemed more effective than Lazapi's?**

Arsast here, because honestly, the others either don't care or will fuck this up. sad but true.

yeah, we all have some kind of fear manipulation. it's what sets indigos apart from high blues and low violets, and it's very much a subjugglator thing, so if any of us ?didn't? have some sort of chucklevoodoo, we'd probably be culled or transferred by now. not all of us are great at using them, though, and they vary a bit from troll to troll in what the actual effect is or feels like. it's not mind control, just making people freak out until they can't make decisions for themselves. so it's less effective on lpeople who are already freaking, unless you just want to send them catatonic. {Lydain seems to some extent to be able to calm people down, too, you know, ?make them less afraid? and I'm seriously trying to figure out if that's a trick the rest of us can learn or just something specific to her.}

I'm not sure I'd say Gamzee's ?more effective? than Lazapi, actually. he's pretty strong, but the real difference is that he's got ?no control whatsover?. he vocalizes too much {although the GH vocalizes his a lot, too, so maybe that's just a Capricorn thing}, he starts just blanketing the area when he's upset, and he doesn't seem to be able to manage any nuance between ?blind panic? and not fearmongering at all. whereas Lazapi can crank out a pretty good panic if she wants to, but she can also inspire a milder fear if that's more useful, and she's pretty good at directing the chucklevooodoo at a specific troll. it's kind of weird, actually, because Gamzee comes across more like someone who's just breaking through and most psychic abilities {including chucklevoodoos} ?tend? to be well-developed by the time a troll's five or six, if not younger. he should have several sweeps of practice by now, and he acts like a rank beginner.

**Grand Highblood, your opinion on Her Imperious Condescension? Your opinion on her heir?**

One's my DIRECT SUPERIOR who is MARGINALLY LESS OF A PAIN IN THE ASS than she is USEFUL in terms of me staying in power myself, and generally has the sense to see that I'M PRETTY FUCKING USEFUL TO HER, too.

The other's a GODDAMN FUCKING COWARD who's probably going to bbe fucking EATEN BY HER OWN LUSUS because she MISSED HER CHANCE TO CHALLENGE for the throne, and I've NEVER known Gl'bgolyb to put up with that FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING SWEEP between conscription runs.

No, you don't get a FUCKING PRIZE for guessing WHICH IS WHICH.

**How often is it that trolls skip out on meeting the recruitment ships? Are feral adults a big enough problem that steps are taken to lower their numbers?**

I THINK I HEARD AT SOME POINT THAT SOMETHING LIKE SIX PERCENT OF NEW ADULTS DESERT, OR TRY TO? AND I REMEMER THINKING THAT THAT NUMBER SEEMED REALLY FUCKING LOW, BUT WHAT DO I KNOW?

THE THING IS, THOUGH, THAT MOST OF US WHO HAVE REASON TO AVOID CONSCRIPTION ARE NOT REALLY CUT OUT FOR WILDERNESS LIVING, EITHER. THE VAST MAJORITY OF DESERTERS GET EATEN BY SOMETHING OR HAVE A HUGE PSIONIC MELTDOWN OR SOMETHING. I MEAN CAN YOU REALLY SEE TAVROS SURVIVING A PERIGEE ON HIS OWN? OR SOLLUX? FUCK, OR EVEN ME, REALLY. NEPETA WOULD BE FINE, I THINK, BUT SHE'S KIND OF THE EXCEPTION AND WE'RE REALLY FUCKING LUCKY TO HAVE HER.

WE'RE DOING OK BECAUSE WE TEAMED UP AND BECAUSE WE'RE ORGANIZED AND ACTIVELY TRYING TO FIND AS MANY OTHER DESERTERS AS POSSIBLE TO GET THEM TO JOIN US - WHICH WE'RE FUCKING AWESOME AT, BY THE WAY - AND BECAUSE WE'VE ACTUALLY BEEN GETTING SOME KIDS IN HELPING US, CULT OF THE SIGNLESS TYPES WHO I FIND REALLY FUCKING CREEPY, BUT THEY'RE EAGER TO PLEASE AT LEAST? AND IT IS REALLY FUCKING HELPFUL TO HAVE PEOPLE HELPING OUT WHO STILL HAVE ACCESS TO THINGS LIKE MEDICAL SUPPLIES AND SOPOR.

**Karkat. Your thankfulness for Nepeta is adorable.**

FUCK YOU, I AM NOT ADORABLE. I WAS NEVER ADORABLE. AND I GREW OUT OF ADORABLOODTHIRSTY AGES AGO.

BUT YEAH, FUCK PAST ME FOR EVER SAYING A WORD AGAINST NEPETA'S CAVE-DWELLING WAYS. SHE'S A LIFESAVER.

**Lazapi, how are you holding up? Would you like a hug or something?**

I... want t. ~ay I'm dOing .k? I mean, I've been making it tO all my ~ch.Olfeeding and c.mbat cla~~e~ and ~tuff, i~ what I mean. And I've been eating and everything. That'~ ~Omething pe.ple are ~uppO~ed t. have prOblem~ with in a ~ituati.n like thi~, right?

And I'm almO~t fini~hed with, y.u knOw, I'm alm.st dOne rendering hi~... rendering the pigment. There'~ m.re than I'm really u~ed tO pr.ce~~in at a time, lOt~ m.re, and I'll have  
I wOn't run .ut Of  
I'll have m.re than enOugh green t. la~t

Actually, yOu kn.w what, yeah, actually. I'd kind Of like that hug.

**GH, how are you quadrants looking?**

FUCKING PRIVATE, is how they're looking. Mirthful Messiahs, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU KIDS?

**Grand Highblood, did you know the Sufferer**

WHERE THE FUCK did you hear that FUCKING TITLE?

**I meant you can talk to US about Gamzee... Just getting your thoughts out there might be nice.**

oH, i GUESS THIS ONE'S, fOR ME, aGAIN,

iT SEEMS, uH, rEALLY QUIET WITHOUT HIM AROUND, wHICH SOUNDS KIND OF, sTUPID, i GUESS, bECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE ELSE IS ANY QUIETER, aND ACTUALLY, kARKAT, yELLS A LOT MORE,,,

bUT, tHERE WAS ALWAYS, sOME SORT OF, bACKGROUND NOISE WHEN gAMZEE WAS AROUND, lIKE HE'D BE TALKING, tO SOMEONE, aBOUT NOTHING IN PARTICULAR, oR hONKING, oR HE'D HAVVE HIS MUSIC PLAYING, wHICH i NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD, bUT i KIND OF LIKED IT, aNYWAY,

aND WHEN HE WASN'T DOING ANYTHING ELSE, wHICH WAS, a LOT OF THE TIME NOW THAT i THINK ABOUT IT, hE SPENT A LOT OF TIME, lEANING ON ME, oR SITTING ON ME, lIKE JUST STANDING NEARBY WASN'T, cLOSE ENOUGH,

wHICH WAS ACTUALLY, kIND OF NICE? eSPECIALLY SINCE i'M NOT AS MANEUVERABLE AS HIM, a LOT OF THE TIME,,, eVEN IF HE DID, gET OVERENTHUSIASTIC AND, kNOCK MY FOUR-WHEEL DEVICE OVER, bACKWARD, a FEW TIMES, bUT THAT WAS KIND OF CUTE, tOO, bECAUSE HE ALWAYS GOT, sUPER CONCERNED TO SEE IF i WAS, oK?

aND NOW i KEEP WONDERIN WHERE HE IS, oR IF HE'S HAVING A GOOD EVENING, aND MAYBE WANTS TO HANG OUT, lATER, jUST US, iF HE'S NOT BUSY WITH kARKAT, oR STARING AT A WALL OR SOETHING,,,

aND THEN, i REMEMBER, wHAT HAPPENED,

**So GH, what do you think about the fact that one of the new recruits is making some rather filthy speculations about the nature of your interest in Gamzee?**

Look, as long as the snotrag isn't PLANNING A FUCKING INTERVENTION or about to TRY TO SEDUCE ME THEMSELF or something, I can't say I CARE VERY FUCKING MUCH.

**oh lazapi :( *hugs*. @ the other novitiates, what do you think about gamzee and what he did, killing jormun i mean?**

(>| killing who |<)  
(>| oh that green lazapi's so upset about |<)  
(>| well i wasn't there so i'm not sure i can really comment much about it but it kind of seems like gamzee doesn't have much experience witht his sort of thing |<)  
(>| i mean the actual culling or or the social and emotional fallout if you do it within your own group |<)  
(>| and he kind of chose a bad time and place to learn |<)

Gamzee's an idiot and he's horrible at minding his own business. that kind of altruism can get a troll culled ?easily?, and he's just lucky that the GH was in a decent mood. really, both him and Lazapi are lucky, because I half expected the GH to cull ?her? anyway. not that I'm saying I don't feel bad for Lazapi, bbut she took a risk bringing her friend here and should have been ready to follow through if something happened. but gamzee shouldn't have ?felt? like he had to step up when it looked like she might back out. it wasn't our business. maybe if he and Lazapie in a quadrant or something, it would be different, but last I checked they were pretty thoroughly platonic.

Man, ifI'dhadtoguess, I'd have saidLazapiwould be the one outofthosetwo who'd be able to just cullaguy with nopreptime. It was kindofcool to seeGamzeeactually do somethingforonce besides stand around lookinglost.

I don't. Really get it. Gamzee confuses me. I can't tell. If he's just. Screwing with us. Or if he's. Actually that friendly. And useless.  
But this. And the fact that. The Grand Highblood likes him. Kind of makes me lean. Toward the former.

Welll I didn't @ctuallly seee first h@nd wh@t h@pppened, but from wh@t I he@rd about it... I kind of feeel sorrry for the guy? I me@n, it was kind of shittty of L@z@pi to put him in th@t position in the first pl@ce.

**Grand Highblood, why are you such a cruel bastard? :(**

Am I?

I hadn't FUCKING NOTICED.

**Grand Highblood, how does someone like you have a matesprit? You don't seem like the "loving" type... you seem more like the "I will murder you while you sleep" type.**

I COMPLETELY FAIL TO SEE how my liking to kill things has ANY FUCKING BEARING whatsoever on whether or not I HAVE THE CAPACITY TO PITY ANOTHER TROLL.

And you people DO realize I regularly cull GOSSIP COLUMNISTS when they won't BACK OFF MY FUCKING PERSONAL LIFE, right?

**Terezi, how's your Legilacerator training going?**  
&  
**Terezi! What have you been up to? :)**  
&  
**What are legislacerator parties like, and what kinds of things are considered contraband?**

H3H3, SO M4NY QU3ST1ONS! 1 F33L POPUL4R  
1V3 B33N DO1NG PR3TTY W3LL! 1M 4 L1TTL3 RUSTY, BUT TH3 F1GHT1NG STUFF 1S 34SY 4FT3R SGRUB, 4ND 1TS K1ND OF COOL TO 4CT4LLY B3 4ROUND P3OPL3 WHO CH4LL4NG3 M3 1NT3LL3CTU4LLY  
4LSO 1M PR3TTY SUR3 MOST OF TH3 OTH3RS H4V3NT F1GUR3D OUT WH3TH3R OR NOT 1M 4CTU4LLY BL1ND

OH M4N TH3 P4RT13S  
YOU B3TT3R B3L13V3 W3 H4V3 TH3 B3ST P4RT13S  
1 M34N TH3R3S ONLY B33N 4 COUPL3 SO F4R  
BUT NO ON3 CUTS LOOS3 L1K3 A BUNCH OF L3G1SL4C3R4TORS  
4ND L4ST W33K SOM3ON3 SP1K3D TH3 DR1NKS W1TH M1ND HON3Y 4ND 3V3RYON3 GOT STR1P S34RCH3D 4ND TWO P3OPL3 GOT CULL3D  
4LSO 4PP4R4NTLY MY SYN43STH3S14 R34LLY 1S 4 PSYCH1C TH1NG 4FT3R 4LL B3C4US3 1 W4S H34R1NG T3MP3R4TUR3S 4LL TH3 N3XT N1GHT

**So I'm guessing the Kids are on a restored Earth now, with no way for them to contact the Trolls?**

a2 far a2 we under2tand iit, yeah.  
once iin a whiile 2omeone ha2 what we're pretty 2ure ii2 a dreambubble dream, liike when the 2tar2 are aliigned or 2ome 2hiit liike that, ii don't even know. we've never 2een any of the human2 iin them, but then, we don't u2ually have more than two or three of u2 get iintwo the bubble2 at a tiime 2o maybe we're ju2t mii22iing them.

theoretiically, iit 2hould be po22iile two rout a siignal through the furthe2t riing and iintwo theiir uniiver2e, liike wiith tho2e 2erver2 kn and ii found, but ii haven't fiigured out how yet and ii wouldn't hold out for anyone on theiir end fiiguriing out how two piick iit up.

**Hi Lydain what did you tell the GH about Gamzee and why, and how did he react? Do you guys regularly have the opportunity to talk directly to the GH about stuff?**

(>| well i wasn't really planning on saying anything |<)  
(>| and honestly i was pretty scared, haha |<)  
(>| but the gh is a lot more approachable if you catch him during carnival |<)  
(>| and i kind of thought that if gamzee thought he was losing it then the gh should know, you know, so he'd know what was/ happening if something bad happened and be able to handle it better |<)  
(>| besides can you imagine what his reaction would be if gamzee flipped and we knew it might happen and didn't tell him |<)

(>| so i told him that gamzee was acting like he thought he was going to lose his mind in a big way |<)  
(>| start hallucinating or forget who he is or something like that |<)  
(>| and i wasn't evven sure if he'd heard me at first, because like i said it was during carnival so it was pretty loud |<)  
(>| but then he just kind of nodded and growled, and walked away |<)

**GH, do you think that Gamzee will ever be good enough to take over from you as head of the subjugglators?**

Take over? Who said ANYTHING about ANYONE FUCKING TAKING OVER for me? If and when SOMETHING GETS THE BETTER OF ME, this empire can FUCKING BURN for all I care.

**Eridan, you haven't appeared at all in the story so far. What have you been up to? Also the others seemed to be getting along in a more or less... polite way with the trolls who went on spree in the veil. Do they treat you ok too or do they still hate you. Oh and while we're at it. Your opinion on Karkat's and Feferi's respective ambition, please.**

oh you knoww just bein too fuckin important to keep tabs on evveryone else  
its not like any a them actually wwant me around  
i mean they tolerate me because apparently toleration is the neww big thing but its not lie they pretend wwere still friends or somefin  
probably kelps that i came back an started helpin feed fefs lusus again after sgrub  
that confused the glub out a fef of course but it wwasnt like i wwas gonna leave her hangin noww wwas it  
or leave our wwhole species hangin  
i mean i knoww i made some mistakes but im not a complete dumbass

im not evven really sure wwhat fef an kar are hopin to accompfish to tell the truth  
either a them

**Aradia, exactly how did you find out you still have your God-Tier Immortality?**

oh wow this is really embarassing. it was actually another flarping accident! i kind of had some trouble adjustingg when we got back and i started flarping again which pretty much everyone said was a bad idea. and you know when vriska says you need to be cautious about not overusing your power it's kind of a bad sign!

but i was kind of in this im alive alive alive i need to fight something or fix something or do something headspace and flarp seemed like a good outlet.

and then three campaigns in i actually messed up by trying to bypass a perfectly solvable perfectly linear challenge with my godtier power and ended up in a mess that i didn't anticipate. luckily the clouder had no idea what was going on either because he never expected someone to try to get past him with weird time shit! he was confused enough by the whole mess that i dont think he even realized id died and come back to life.

**Gamzee, how's not eating sopor treating you? Do you think you're going to have a repeat of last time you didn't eat it?**

tHaT's A mOtHeRfUcKiNg ToUgH qUeStIoN fOr Me To Be AlL pUlLiNg An AnSwEr FoR oUt Of My FuCkEd Up SpOnGe, BrO. i MeAn, WhO eVeN kNoWs ThAt ShIt? i tHiNk I'm DeAlInG bEtTeR tHaN i AlL dId LaSt TiMe, bUt LaSt TiMe ThErE wAs A lOt MoRe ShIt GoInG dOwN tHaN jUsT mE rUnNiNg OuT oF mY pIeS. bUt ThEn ThErE's A lOt MoRe ShIt GoInG rOuNd HeRe NoW, bUt It'S diFfErEnT sHiT tHaN lAsT tImE? sO wHo EvEn mOtHeRfUcKiNg KnOwS.

**So... Grand Highblood, Sir. You don't remember a Dualscar, but do you by chance remember a neophyte legislacerator by the name of Redglare?**

No, I FUCKING DO NOT remember any Neophyte Redglare. Just because the Legislacerators ANSWER TO ME does not mean I know THEIR ENTIRE ROSTER, PAST AND FUCKING PRESENT off the top of my head.

**GH you ever get lonely? Since people keep dying and you live on**

I think you mean, LOWBLOODS AND IDIOTS keep dying and I fucking live on.

**Wow Gamzee, you're smart when you're sober. Ever thought about finding a way to stay off sopor? Without, you know, the obvious problems that come with that.**

:o) tHaNkS, mOtHeRfUcKeR, bUt I'm NoT sUrE iT's So MuCh ThAt I bE aLl SmArT wHeN i'M sObEr As ThAt I'm PrEtTy MoThErFuCkInG oUt Of It WhEn I'm On ThE sLiMe? I jUsT... nOtIcE mOrE sHiT wHeN i gOt My SoBrIeTy On, i GuEsS. wHiCh AiN't So BaD, eVeN iF iT dOn'T aLl SeEm So MuCh LiKe MiRaClEs.

AnD i KiNdA tHiNk I dOn'T gOt MuCh Of A cHoIcE oN tHe StAyInG oFf SoPoR bIt, My MoThErFuCkInG aNcEsToR gOt HiS cLaRiTy WaY oN aBoUt ThAt.

**Please don't take this the wrong way, Terezi, but how in the nine worlds were you not culled for being blind?**

S1MPL3, 1 SM3LL3D TH3 DRON3 COM1NG 4ND GOT OUT OF THE W4Y  
L1TTL3 W1GGL3RS 4R3 4LW4YS CONV1NC3D TH4T TH3 DRON3S 4R3 SOM3 K1ND OF 4LLKNOW1NG MONST3RS TH4T KNOW YOUR 3V3RY W34KN3SS, BUT R34LLY, 4S LONG 4S YOUR3 OBV1OUSLY FUNCT1ON4L 4ND SOUND OF BODY, TH3Y DONT C4R3 MUCH 4BOUT TH3 D3T41LS

4ND 1V3 B33N TRY1NG TO R3LY MOR3 ON SC3NT 4ND L3SS ON T4ST3 L4T3LY, WH1CH M4K3S 1T L3SS OBV1OUS  
1 TH1NK MOST OF MY 1NSTRUCTORS H4V3 F1GUR3D 1T OUT, BUT 4 LOT OF MY P33RS 4R3 ST1LL CLU3L3SS

**So, novices, why are all adult trolls exiled from the planet?**

Blah blah glory oftheempire bblah keepthelowbloods from organizingagain blah blah TauridRebellion blah end of the AgeofRevolution whothefuckcares? There's a lotofhistory behind it, yeah, bbut nowingg that history won'tchange anything. Adult Exile is justkindof a factoflife.

**GH have you ever met the Demoness?**

A few times, yeah. Always before SOMETHING FUCKING HUGE goes down, which SEEMS CONSISTENT with other reports of her. The bitch is FUCKING CREEPY, let me tell you. Always seems ind of WEIRDLY FIXATED on me when we meet up, whatever that means for AN IMMORTAL DEMON HELLBITCH. Like she's trying to FIGURE OUT IF SHE KNOWS ME or something, or half-expects ME to KNOW HER.

**Kanaya! Talk to us girl! How have you been? How is being a rainbow drinker treating you? Is it hard hiding you are one? What kind of profession are you being trained in. Also, as a jade blood you will most likely know a lot about pailing, mothergrubbing, and evolutioning. Tell us: Do you really have ancestors are you biologically 100% identical to your ancestors. If yes: what kind of implications does this have for you guys?**

I Am Not Really At Liberty To Discuss The Details Of My Training As Attendant To The Mother Grub Except To Say That My Hemophagy Presents Less Of An Issue Than Might Be Expected

Know That I Am Physically And Mentally Well If A Little Lonesome For My Friends

As To Your Other Question Yes Direct Descent Is A Thing Which Occurs From Time To Time Within The General Population

Although My Friends And I Present A Special Case Because Of Ectobiological Shenanigans And I Believe Us To Bear An Even Greater Than Usual Genetic Resemblance To Our Ancestors

But In General Any Troll Who Provides Genetic Material May Eventually See Their Particular Combination Of Traits Arise Again As An Identical Or Near-Identical Wiggler When Luck Ordains It Or When It Fits The Needs Or Whims Of The Mother Grub

In Theory It Is even Possible That Some Of Our Group May Have Doubles Who Are Descended From Our "Ancestors" In The Natural Way Of Things Although The Chances Of These Doubles Being Anywhere Near Our Own Age Is Vanishingly Small

**GH, when Gamzee was still stoned out of his mind, you mentioned someone was going to have a field day with the way your descendant turned out. I assumed that was the empress, so I have to ask do you have the "pleasure" of interacting with her frequently?**

Yeah, I was talking about the Condesce.

I dunno, it's not like she FUCKING KEEPS ME ON A LEASH or anything. But she does GENERALLY WANT ME TO REPORT IN PERSON when we end up in the same sector. She's more INSISTENT about it if something's making her FUCKING JUMPY.

I mean, the first FIVE HUNDRED SWEEPS OR SO we worked together, she seemed to think I was going to up and OVERTHROW HER or some shit. But the EMPIRE WAS A FUCK OF A LOT SMALLER then, so it wasn't really so much of a hassle to stay in SHOUTING DISTANCE. She's a lot less EXCITABLE now, which is a good thing, because with THE SHEER AMOUNT OF TERRITORY we've got, if I had to wait until trouble came to her, I'd never get ANYTHING SORTED.


	3. Having a Social Life is Hard, Ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile: Gamzee and Sephar ask Arsast to be their auspistice; Team Deep Cover contacts the Rebellion; Gamzee's mood noticeably improves.

**Terezi :) Your thoughts on the whole situation with Gamzee at the moment?**

W3LL OBV1OUSLY 1M D3L1GHT3D H3S 4L1V3  
1 4M PR3TTY FOND OF THE GUY 4FT3R 4LL  
4ND H3S R34LLY 1MPORT4NT TO K4RK4T OF COURS3!

BUT 1TS 4 L1TTL3 WORRY1NG B3C4US3 H3S TRY1NG R34LLY H4RD NOT TO LOOK L1K3 H3S F4LL1NG 4P4RT  
4ND 1 D1DNT R3M3MB3R G4MZ33 B3ING SUCH 4 GOOD 4CTOR  
1 HOP3 K4RK4T KNOWS WH4T TO DO B3C4US3 1M N3V3R R34LLY SUR3 WH4T TO DO W1TH G4MZ33

**Rossan, what do you think of your fellow novices?**

Ahahahaha, seriously? Likethegroup asawhole, or individually? I'm not sure whatIwasexpecting, but thisis such a group of oddballs. Keeps things intersting, I supposes. Let's go individually. That soundslikefun.

Arsast's kindofanass. Like the sort that reallyenjoys being half a step aheadofyou. I had a bettingpoolgoing on how long 'til SepharandGamzee went black for each other, right? And Arsast bets they'll endupashen instead. And then three nights later theguy's theirauspistice, and he tries to claim it stillcounts as a win for him because they asked him, insteadofhim offering. Feh.

Sephar needstolighenup a bit? Maybehang with the group more. She's got a killer senseofhumor if you can get her rolling. Great smile, not that sheeversmiles.

Lazapi's fuckingcrazy. Seriously. Waytoofixated on all theprettycolors, I don't care if she's an artist. Girl's messedinthehead. I mean she's cuteandall but seriously you cannot carrycrazyinapail.

Gamzee is a total spacecase. Deceptivelyso. You think he wouldn't hurtabuzzvermin, and then something sets him off and he just flipsthefuckout. And then he's waysheepish about it afterward. His lack of control over his chucklevoodoos doesn'thelp.

Lydain is fun. I mean notlike she's gonna run around being wildandcrazy, but she's good about playing straight to someone else's comic relief. Kinda justignores chaos. I think we'dmake agoodteam.

And Staiko - staiko is a tonandahalf of funtotease. Justenough of a reaction to let you know he's still payingattention, you know? But notenough to let you knowhecares. So fucking frustrating, Iloveit.

**GH, can you tell us about the Vast Honk that you supposedly prophesize?**

It's the FUCKING PUNCHLINE of the FUCKING UNIVERSE. Joke's over, and GOD HELP YOU if you didn't get it, 'cause NO ONE'S GONNA FUCKING TELL IT AGAIN or explain it.

**How are you enjoying the new ship, renegade?**

You have to 8sk????????  
It's gr8! Of course, I'd only hijack the 8est possi8le ship. Eleg8nt little thing, sturdy, one h8ll of a w8apons system.

I am a liiiiiiiittle short-handed at the mom8nt, I'll admit. I mean, not that I expected to 8e swimming in prospective crew-mem8ers just yet! I do have a few relia8le minion-types, though, and I think I know where they might 8e happy to see me........

**karkat karkat karkat! so how's it feel knowing your moirail's not actually dead? :D**

OH MY GOD, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I DON'T THINK THERE ARE WORDS FOR HOW HAPPY I AM RIGHT NOW. THERE IS A DISTINCT POSSIBILITY THAT THIS DISCOVERY HAS BEGUN THE PROCESS OF TURNING ME INTO EGBERT, STARTING WITH MY STATE OF MIND. THAT IS HOW FUCKING CHEERFUL I AM.

**Hey Arsast, what would you do if, hypothetically, Gamzee's moirail threatened you not to fail in your ashen duties while simultaneously welcoming you to Gamzee's quadrants? Also said hypothetical moirail is a mutant looded rebel leader?**

oh mirth, that's ?exactly? the sort of troll Gamzee would think it was a good idea to get involved with too.

well, ?hypothetically?, I really wouldn't expect anything less; a little posture is only to be ?expected?, especially from his moirail. his ?hypothetical? moirail, sorry. I'd probably tell them to butt out, and then Gamzee would pout, and we'd make it terribly awkward fro the guy while we tried to get a feel for each other. ?hypothetically?.

and if this ?hypothetical? mutant moirail of his proved to be a complete dumbass who was going to cause problems for everyone ?hypothetically? involved, I'd probably figure out how to quietly dispose of them and then yell at Gamzee a little about ?hypothetically? endangering Sephar and me by fraternizing with idiotic revolutionaries.

**How many of the Sgrub trolls are aware of Karkat's revolution? I know there's Karkat and the group there plus Terezi and Gamzee, but what about the others?**

D--> So far as I am aware, everyone in the group knows  
D--> Some of us have chosen not to involve ourselves any more than strictly necessary  
D--> For e%ample, it would be difficult for me to monitor Nepeta's wellbeing if I refused to acknowledge Vantas's illicit communications  
D--> But otherwise my involvement is negligible  
D--> The sea-dweler is likewise a100f from the group, and no one seems to know just where Maryam is at this point  
D--> I believe most of the others are participating more directly

**Ehm hey, Doctor Scratch, I just wanted to ask if you would tell us what you are planning on doing now? The game was scratched but you are obviously still alive and you seem like a god that always has some kind of back-up plan. So what is it? Will you wait for the next generation of players or will you get heavily involved in the immediate future? Thank you for your time, sir!**

FUCK, I HOPE DOC SCRATCH ISN'T UP TO ANYTHING.

SEE, WE DIDN'T EXACTLY SCRATCH THE FUCKING GAME. I MEAN, WE ALREADY DID THAT, OR OUR ANCESTORS DID. ULTIMATELY, IT DIDN'T SOLVE ANYTHING.

WHAT WE DID - OR AT ANY RATE, WHAT SOLLUX AND THE SPACE AND TIME PLAYERS DID - WAS GET INTO THE BASIC UNIVERSE CODE AND HACK A DOOMED TIMELINE TO REMOVE AS MUCH REFERENCE TO DOC SCRATCH AND LORD ENGLISH AS POSSIBLE AND SET A DIVERGENCE POINT SHORTLY BEFORE WE STARTED PLAYING. THE HUMANS GOT A SIMILAR SETUP WITH THEIR UNIVERSE. OBVIOUSLY THERE'S STILL QUITE A BIT OF INFLUENCE THERE, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT THAT ECTOBIOLOGICALLY GENERATED PEOPLE ARE RELATIVELY PARADOX-PROOF, SO INTERACTIONS WITH US OR WITH OUR ANCESTORS SEEM TO MORE OR LESS STILL BE IN PLACE.

BUT THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANY NEW ACTIVITY. SOLLUX WAS PRETTY INSISTANT THAT HIS DOOMHACKING HAD ACHIEVED THAT MUCH.

**Tavros, do you have any quadrants filled besides your matespritship with Gamzee?**

i, uH, wAS TRYING TO AUSPISTIZE FOR vRISKA, aND aRADIA FOR A WHILE, tHERE,

bUT i'M NOT SURE IF THAT'S STILL A THING, tHAT IS HAPPENING, bECAUSE WE NEVER OFFICIALLY BROKE IT OFFF, bUT, iT'S NOT REALLY LIKE THEY FIGHT MUCH, aNYMORE,

sO i'M NOT REALLY CLEAR, aS TO WHETHER i'M A REALLY GOOD AUSPISTICE, oR JUST KIND OF,,, uM, aN UNNECESSARY ONE,

**Feferi! How's it going training the next generation of lusus-feeders? Do you ever feel weird, being older than them? And have you had any contact with Karkat and the others still on planet?**  
&  
**Feferi, how are you doing? Also, how are you going to stop your lusus from forcing the issue in regards to you versus the Empress? It would suck if she ate you.**  
&  
**Feferi! haven't seen much of you. what are you up to? any plans to claim your place on the throne?**

)(ey, guys!

I've been R--E--ELY busy! You wouldn't t)(ink it, but kids w)(o don't know w)(at t)(ey're doing can reely be more trouble than kelp. T)(ey're getting better, t)(oug)(! I just kind of wis)( I'd t)(ought to get t)(em started w)(en Eridan was still around doing )(is weird "i wwill )(elp out but assume you're stil mad at me evven t)(oug)( I've been doing t)(is for two sweeps" t)(ing. 38I Glubbing idiot.

But t)(e kids are learning so fast! And t)(ey're smelt, too. I )(adn't reely t)(oug)(t about t)(e age difference being weird - s)(oud it be? I mean, I've been older t)(an most people on t)(e planet for a w)(ile now!

I ABSOLUT------ELY )(ave designs on t)(e t)(rone! I still )(ave a little w)(irlpool before Gl'bgolyb starts getting too antsy, I t)(ink. S)(e knows I'm working on it, w)(ic)( I think is more than some of my predeseassors could say? And s)(e can )(ardly )(ear the Condesce at al t)(ese days, so maybe t)(at kelps?

I've been in contact wit)( Crabkat a little, and we're working toge)(er! But )(e's even busier than M----E eceause I'm just keeping my lusus fed and c)(asing a couple of seadweller kids and talking to )(IM, and )(e's got t)(at w)(ole grouper of trolls )(e's trying to lead. I t)(ink )(e mig)(t be a little in over )(is )(ead, but don't tell )(im I said t)(at! )(e'd totally FLIPP---ER out.

**Arsast, I think you are adorable and I don't know why. I just want to hug you and ruffle your hair even though you'd probably stab me if I tried.**

that's... ?flattering?, I guess?

but yeah, grabbing at me would probably not end well for you. fair warning, I guess. I don't really like to be touched.

**Grand Highblood, what do you think of each of the novices?**

Let me fucking see... there's the SMARTASS, the DUMBASS, the FLAKEY one, the HORNY IDIOT, the SUCKUP, the DELUSIONAL ANTISOCIAL one, and the MILD DISGRACE TO THE CAPRICORN LINE.

But most of those are LESS FUCKING TRUE than when they tripped over their own feet onto this ship. So there's FUCKING HOPE for them yet.

**Arsast, do you already have trolls scoped out for your other quadrants like you seemed to have Gamzee, or was that just a situation that fell into your lap?**

well, I'm not ?willfully blind? to romantic prospects, if that's what you mean. I've already got a matesprit {although I haven't seen much of her lately, as she's been pretty busy with her provacatelligence training}, and I've kind of got my ?eye? on a few pale or caliginous prospects, but I'd rather not jinx myself by naming names?

and I do kind of resent the implication that I'm more focused on Gamzee. I'd like to think I'm a more balanced auspistice than that {and just in general, I do kind of tend to try and get into people's heads}. I mean, I was just as aware of Sephar's potential to cause problems as Gamzee's. the girl's obnoxxious and passive agressive and seems to enjoy being offended. I'm not going to claim I didn't realize there was a possibility of being pulled into clubs when I went to yell at them, but it's not ?just? because I'd been eeping half an eye on Gamzee.

**Equius, what do you think of Vriska going off and becoming a pir8?**

D--> It is irresponsible  
D--> F001hardy  
D--> Cowardly  
D--> Childish  
D--> And entirely consistent with her previous behavior in every way

**Hey, Vris, I really hope you have a plan for when the Highblood comes crashing down on your ass. Gamzee saved your life once, I'm not quite sure how much longer he can hold out.**

A plan???????? I have 8ll the pl8ns! Most of them involve having all the luck, im8gine that!!!!!!!!

**Hey, Sephar, any reason why you hate Gamzee so much? As far as I can tell, he really hasn't purposely done anything to make you so angry at him, other than the fact that you were sorta expecting to be by yourself, when they drained out his recuperacoon... Does he just rub you the wrong way? Or is it somethingmore? Maybe you feel like he should be your kismesis?**

Ok to start. That last bit? Is stupid. And kind of offensive. We. Have. An. Auspistice. Is that hard to understand?

Otherwise. Well. It's complicated? I don't really trust him. I mean. No one's that nice. He's not that nice. I've seen him. When he's out of control. And most people would own up to that. Everyone's a little unstable. We're a violent. Psychologically and psychically. Volatile species. That's normal.

But he just pretends. That it doesn't happen. That he doesn't yell. That he's not still coming down. Off a major sopor addiction. That he doesn't chucklevoodoo. At the drop of a pin.

So what else. Is he pretending doesn't happen? He's a Capricorn. Out of the same bloodline. As the Grand Highblood himself. And I have to. Share a block with him.

**Subjugglator trainees who are down with the clown: Hypothetically, what would your reaction be if someone claimed they were both of the mirthful messiahs?**

I'm reallynotsure? I mean, people loseit sometimes, you get some nutcases in theCircus, everyone knows that's a possibility. Probabbly I'd staythehell outta the way and let someoneelse handle it, unless they were messingwithme personally.

(>| wait are they being serious |<)  
(>| because a lot of clowns especially will kind of casually blaspheme just joking around |<)  
(>| but that's kind of extreme and if they actually mean it that sounds like a really dangerous delusion |<)  
(>| actually it's really extreme i'd probably be pretty pissed off |<)

ugh, this is ?exactly? why Circus Cultism has a bad name. we'd handle it, ok? I'd try and snap them out of it if I could, but if not, well, it's not liek the Cult doesn't know how to handle it when people go completely out from under their horns. some of the sects kind of encourage lack of self control, but when it gets down to it, Carnies look out for each other and sometimes that means a swift culling.

...  
iS tHiS a MoThErFuCkInG jOkE? cAuSe It AiN't VeRy FuNnY. :o(

**Question to all (canon) trolls who have at least one concupiscent in the fleet while the other part is in the rebbellion: what was your reaction when you found out that you would have to end the relationship? As the rebellion may take several sweeps to come to fruition it would be impossible for the trolls in the fleet to uphold the relationship without the ever increasing risk of being culled by filial drones. Also how did you and your partner take it?**

ok im just gonna take this one an savve you all from wwhatevver bullshark ter an her quads wwere gonna feed you

youre wwelcome

theyre complete imbeciles an ter is just basskin to be culled wwith her fuckin romantic ideas

shes goin on the filial registry wway before me anywway because lowwerbloods get the drones younger an trust me theres no wway shes gonna finish her trainin an get enough mobility in time for fuckin clamdestine liasons or wwhatevver the fuck she thinks shes gonna pull off

hopefully she realizes that in time

at least i had the decency to break it off wwith sol before i left

an ok maybe i wwouldnt be opposed to seein if hes still mad about that in a feww swweeps wwhen i get my owwn vvessel but i aint holdin out for him an only him or anyfin

i dont think equ or kan had any concupiscent fill wwhen wwe joined the fleet bbut im not sure i wwas kinda outta the loop after all

**Subjugglator trainees: 69 So, guys, what's this symbol mean? Ever seen it before? 69**

{so before I answer, can I just ask Bramble why they give me all the ?nonsensical? questions no one else wants to answer?}

?obviously?, it's the number after sixty-eight and before seventy.


	4. Make New Friends, But Keep The Old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile: Gamzee, Lazapi, and Rossan hang out; Equius makes an unexpected appearance; Lazapi and Equius hit it off.
> 
> I would like to remind you that I do not endorse any advice Rossan might give.

**Sephar, have you ever tried baked sopor?**

Have I...

WHAT? Why. The. Hell. Would you ask that? Seriously? Seriously. Have. I. Eaten Sopor? Do I look. Completely sponge-rotten. To you? Do I look. Like Gamzee?

Do you have any idea. What a sopor habit. Does to a troll? I mean really? Exhibit A: My. Glubbing. Blockmate. You know. The guy who only escaped culling. Through blatant senseless favoritism? Yeah. Him.

Seriously though. What would possibly. Make you look at me. And think. "Gee. I bet she enjoys. Committing genocide. On her own spongecells." I mean. Really?

**Could you, to the extent of as much as you actually know/have planned for it, describe Carnival?**  
&  
 **So, you seem to have a pretty good idea what Carnival holds. Mind telling us a bit more about the service and the other branches other than clowns?**  
&  
 **Lydain, tell us a bit more about the carnival. especially its traditions and maybe a few of the playbill's most important rules and regulations. maybe a bit about its structure and organization too. Arsast, tell us a bit about how tightrope walkers differ from the clown branch of circus cultists. What kind of traditions or rituals do funambulists perform. Also, why go for that and not the clown branch? Question to both: how and when did you feel the call of the Dark Carnival?**

(>| wow guys that's a lot of questions |<)   
(>| c: |<)

great, now you've got her all ?excited?. she ?emoted? and everything. hope you're up for having your ear talked off.

(>| did we ask you |<)

well, there ?is? a bit for me there. I'll just be over here when you need me.

(>| right |<)   
(>| so do you know anything about the carnival |<)   
(>| i'll just assume i'm starting from scratch |<)   
(>| so the world freaking sucks right that's a fairly basic known fact of life |<)   
(>| you don't have to be religious or anything to recognize that people are kind of generally miserable that's where things like pity come in because the most basic positive feeling you can have toward a troll is to want them to suffer less |<)   
(>| circus cultism teaches that the source of suffering is boredom your own boredom other people's boredom |<)   
(>| just in general if someone doesn't have something to occupy their mind they're going to do something destructive |<)   
(>| and being unoccupied is itself a form of harm it's better to be doing something toward a goal even if that goal is just having fun |<)   
(>| i'll admit a lot of people especially a lot of clowns get kind of overzealous about it when we're kids that's where people get the idea we're all crazy or something because some peopel do go so far as to put entertainment before self-preservation or acknowledgement of social expectations |<)   
(>| or drug use drug use to relieve boredom is pretty common too |<)   
(>| and then you get long winded arguments over whether this proves everything because they got bored and did something stupid or if it's a positive relief of boredome or what bluh bluh bluh |<)   
(>| sorry i was never really one for much philosophy maybe arsast will be able to do better on that score |<)

pfft yeah, ?whatever?.

(>| you don't have to be rude |<)

you were boring me.

(>| you really don't have to be crude |<)   
(>| i'm not doing it for your benefit arsast anyway aren't you funambulists supposed to e able to entertain yourselves you're not a wriggler |<)

(>| sorry about that |<)   
(>| anyway the carnival service is well i guess you could call it a celebration |<)   
(>| not really a celebration of anything in particular just a celebration |<)   
(>| because you can't really be entertained all the time but at carnival you can enjoy yourself |<)   
(>| and see or do something funny or interesting or amazing that you can look back on later when there isn't a lot to be mirthful about at the moment |<)   
(>| and it's really cool to be on a ship with such a big diverse circus population because that means we get a lot of unique acts |<)   
(>| i'd never even met any circus folk who weren't clowns before conscription but we've got all kinds of acrobats and illusionists and stuff |<)   
(>| it's a big honor to be asked to perform during the sacrimerriment i'm actually really jealous of arsast |<)

yeah, well, there's a lot more of you clowns, right? they can't be as ?picky? with some of the other acts. I'm sure whe you get your turn, you'll blow us all away, Lyda.

(>| thanks c: |<)   
(>| and yeah we clowns hugely outnumber any of the other sects i think it's because the grand highblood is a clown so we've got more political clout |<)   
(>| because honestly even after you get into the adult population and most of the really stupid carnies get themselves killed by deciding not attacking people is boring or something there's still a lot of anti-circus sentiment especially in the lower colors |<)   
(>| but people are a little less likely to actually try to mess with you or something for being a clown bbecause of the association with the subjugglators |<)   
(>| because obviously not all clowns are subjugglators and not all subjugglators are clowns but there are a lot of us in the ranks |<)   
(>| and we tend to look out for our own when we can |<)   
(>| which is all the time because we're subjugglators |<)   
(>| ok i'm not really sure what more to add |<)   
(>| arsast i think it's your turn |<)   
(>| break a leg |<)

it's a ?theological discussion?, Lydain, not a performance. but sure, thanks.

ok, what to add.

I guess the main difference between clowns and funambulists {well, really, a lot of the acrobatic or aerial acts in general} is that we're more solitary? more ?independent?. it's not just that there's more of them; they've got a bigger focus on community in general, in entertaining each other. and my Tradition is more focused on being self-reliant and being able to find something to do with yourself in ?any? situation. we're not encouraged to sit around waiting for someone else to do something interesting.

there's also less focus on humor and more on spectacle, I guess? I mean, humor is ?important?, but your only reaction to the divine should not be laughter. maybe - definitely - part of your reaction. I mean, the Messiahs are generally portrayed in clown paint, and I don't think that's ?only? because the clowns are more influential than the rest of us. but ?amazement? is as important as ?amusement?. I think that's really what drew me to the tightrope rather than the paint. I mean I can be a witty guy, but I'm not exactly happy-go-lucky or given to slapstick. I need a bit more of an element of challenge, of danger, to keep me entertained.

a lot of what I guess you could call the ?rituals? of any part of the circus is based in like what Lyda said, about performing being this big honor you want to live up to. most circus folk spend time practicing as a kind of meditation. {and even considering how few ropewalkers are around, it was ?amazing? to get a chance to perform so soon, I'm really blessed to have gotten that opportunity. heh, you should have seen the look on Gamzee's face, too, that really made my night.}

(>| can you really blame him though |<)

fuck no, I'm ?awesome?.

**Eridan! Please tell us what life in the highest caste is like? what is even your profession/ how do you get along with other people o your ind? what are your quarters lie? tell us, oh fearsome pirate troll!**

heh fearsome pirate troll i like that   
although if i actually go that rout privvateer is probably gonna be closer a the mark   
not like im gonna havve uch trouble gettin my fins on a letter a marque noww is it

us seadwwellers kina got throwwn in the deep end right off the batfish   
like theres only a few a us so wwe just got i guess you could say apprenticed to the ships officers to kinda learn the ropes as we go in betwween schoolfeedin   
cant reely complain tho i mean my mentors the head navvigator an shes a pretty decent sort evven if she does run me pretty hard   
an i dont get much dowwntime but neither do either a the other seakids so its not like im missin much socially

i got a pretty plush respiteblock adjacent to navvitrix gildclaww's suite   
i mean it aint too bbig but its nice an the water filters wwork wwell wwhich is more than i can say for some a the flooded areas a this ship

**Hi Lazapi! First off, I'm sorry about Jormun. Hopefully it hurts less as time goes by. =( But suppose someone you knew had access to/was part of a rebel faction that wants to put a stop to things like that? To make it so you CAN'T just be asked to kill your friend in the middle of a random hallway. What would you think about that?**

Y.u guy~ have all be ~O ~weet ab.ut JOrmun. ?:')

I'd pr.bably be pretty wOrried f.r them, actually? I mean, it'~ a really nice thOught, but... well, y.u knOw, there'~ alway~ little rebelli.n~ pOpping up, y.u knOw? And they u~ually d.n't la~t very lOng. .r end very nicely.

**Would you pail a human, Rossan? ;-)**

Haha, dude, I'm notevensure what a human is? Gonna take more thanawink to get an answertothisone.

By which I mean, pix please. ;)

(*facepalm* Please do not send him actual pictures. I'm begging you.)

Awww, Bramble, you'renofun.

**Grand Highblood, do you currently/did you ever have a moirail?**

Mirthful fucking Messiahs, you guys do NOT give up, DO YOU?

YES, I've had a few pale relationships over the sweeps. NO, it wasn't anyone YOU'RE AT ALL LIKELY TO HAVE FUCKING HEARD OF. NO, I wouldn't consider ANY OF THEM to have fucking been my FATED SERENDIPIDOUS MOIRAIL or anything like that.

**Equius, why are you in whatever group they assigned you to (I forgot the name) rather than the Threshecutioners? I would have thought that you'd fit there most, and even more so that it'd be your second choice if you weren't an archevalrist or whatever.**

D--> I a%ually e%pected an assignment to the ruffiannihilators when it became clear that I would never have the precision in the heat of combbat needed for archery   
D--> However it seems that when we were children Serket had the uncharacteristic integrity to name me as the technician who provided her with her robotic arm when the disability documentation drone inquired   
D--> Creating a functional if crude robotic prothesis at somewhat less than si% sweeps seems to have drawn someone's attentionD--> Because I was immediately assigned to the physindustrialist training program upon con%ription

**Is there anything special the kids in the fleet, as "inside men" if you will, can do to help with the rebellion?**

THEY CAN FUCKING STAY ALIVE, IS WHAT THEY CAN DO. WE'RE STILL IRONING OUT WHAT THOSE OF US WHO ARE A SAFE DISTANCE AWAY ARE GOING TO DO.

SOONER OR LATER, YEAH, WE'LL PROBABLY HAVE SOMETHING THEY CAN DO TO HELP. BUT FOR NOW THEY NEED TO JUST KEEP THEIR NOSES CLEAN AND THEIR HORNS DOWN AND HOPE THEY AREN'T LOOKING FUNNY AT ANYONE IMPORTANT.

**Vriska, you've been putting a lot of 8s where they aren't precisely logical. Something stressing you out? Y'know, besides being on the run from the Imperial Navy and whatnot?**

Hahahahahahahaha, me? Str8ssed?

What would m8ke you say that? I'm 8 sweeps old and well on my way to 8eing a pir8 qu88n! It's not like I've sp8nt the 8etter part of a perigee dodging imperi8l crusiers or anything!

Or l8ke I care that I had to run out on my kism8sis without t8king the time to gloat a8out it so she'd know where I went.

Or like I've 8een compl8tely out of communic8tion, ut last I heard no one had an id8a where Kanaya was.

Or like there's a v8ry good chance my friends will c8re more a8out getting the clipper than they do about having m8 8ack.

Or l8ke I'm flying this ship on a skel8on crew and I don't think the helmswoman is in v8ry good sh8pe 8ut I don't really know how to check or do 8nything to help her, and what the h8ll is Karkat going to think if I show up in a ship with a dying pil8t? That's not going to piss him off 8t all!

Yeahhhhhhhh, why would I 8e stressed????????

**Aradia! When you came back from the game, your hive was still destroyed, right? So what did you do for a living situation - did you rebuild it? Did you go stay with one of the others?**

i kind of would have liked to rebuild but its not exactly possible to get carpenter drones out when youre already believed to be dead! or get access to a lot of other resources and amenities actually.

so yeah i ended up staying with other people. mostly sollux becuase he kind of needs someone to poke him in the head and tell him to go to sleep before noon and i think he still felt kind of guilty for me not having a hive or being legally alive anymore. and you know also me not being actually alive for a while there. which i keep telling him not to worry about i mean im just fine now but you know how he is.

and i stayed at tavross hive for a while after he got hurt again which i still think was probably vriskas fault even if they both say it wasnt.

**Karkat, Terezi, or whoever else feels like answering: If you don't mind me asking, what makes THIS rebellion so special? Plenty of others have tried it and failed, and they had a much larger force than you guys apparently have.**

WHAT MAKES THIS FUCKING REBELLION SO SPECIAL? I DO.

THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A REBELLION WITH KARKAT FUCKING VANTAS AT THE HEAD, THAT'S WHAT MAKES THIS ONE DIFFERENT. I'VE GOT EIGHT SWEEPS EXPERIENCE LIVING IN HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT, AND I'VE GOT OVER SIX HUNDRED HOURS EXPERIENCE IGHTING FUCKING NIGHTMARES AS THE KNIGHT OF BLOOD.

I HAVE A GODDESS OF TIME ON MY SIDE. I HAVE THE FIRST IMPERIAL HEIRESS IN THREE HUNDRED SWEEPS TO MAKE IT TO ADULTHOOD WITHOUT DYING OR GOING COMPLETELY SHITHIVE MAGGOTS. I HAVE THE SCIONS OF THE SUMMONER AND THE PSIIONIIC, WHO BETWEEN THEM HAVE A REALLY UNBELIEVABLE SKILLSET. I HAVE NOT ONE BUT TWO RELIGIOUS MOVEMENT THAT HAVE SURVIVED A THOUSAND SWEEPS OF PERSECUTION WILLING TO BACK ME UP, AND I HAVE THE SCION OF THE DISCIPLE WHO HAS SOMEHOW MANAGED TO KEEP THOSE CULTISTS FROM BEING COMPLETELY ALIENATED BY ME, EVEN IF WE WON'T LET THEM BEATIFY HER BY DEFAULT.

AND WE DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING CHOICE. WE HAVE TO WIN, WE DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER OPTIONS. I REFUSE TO ENTERTAIN THE POSSIBILITY THAT WE MIGHT NOT PULL THIS OFF, ESPECIALLY WHEN MY FUCKING QUADRANTMATES ARE STILL ON THAT FUCKING SHIP. YOU HEAR ME? I AM GOING TO KISS THAT GIRL AND I AM GOING TO SHOOSHPAP THAT BOY AND IF I HAVE A LITTLE TIME LEFT OVER I MIGHT PUT FEFERI ON THE THRONE.

SO WHAT MAKES THIS REBELLION SO FUCKING SPECIAL? IF YOU STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND, I'LL HAVE TO GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT. I HAVE A HOLE TO HATE IN THE UNIVERSE.

**Hey GH, are there or have there ever been any trolls besides Gamzee who had your Capricorn symbol and the blood? If so, what happened to them.**

There have been a few other Capricorns who MANAGED TO SURVIVE TO ADULTHOOD, yeah. I think the current kid's the closest match I've seen, though. Most of the others WERE A FEW FUCKING SHADES OFF or had a SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT HORN SHAPE or something.

Huh, let's see what I CAN FUCKING REMEMBER? I think the last one got FUCKING CULLED FOR REPRODUCTIVE INCOMPETENCE a few decades back?

And Perrot Amalth was a PRETTY FUCKING GOOD subjugglator. He got his ass killed during the TAURID REBELLION - early days, before I'd quite figured out to TAKE THE FUCKER WITH THE WINGS SERIOUSLY.

**so if you hadta like get someone a gift that was like super personal and awesome but said liek yknow platonicness but yknow call me what would you give also i am all outta heirlooms so yknow thats notta option**

...casualsex?

No, no, I kid. If I understandyouright, you're wanting a gift that isn't an explicitcomeon, but leave the option open? Get 'em something reallyraunchy. No, seriously. Like soinappropriate they havetolaugh - I think Troll Spencers has some littleplasticpails fullofcandy, somethinglikethat. And then they're thinking "oh wow thatAnon, what are wegoingtodowiththem?" but they alsokindof have to think "wow, they totallythinkabout sex and me inthesamesentence."

**Grand Highblood, why are you so touchy about your quadrants? What are we going to do, take this information and make pamphlets to hand out? "GRAND HIGHBLOOD'S QUADRANTS REVEALED." We're not stupid, just curious.**

Yeah, uh, I'm PRETTY FUCKING SURE YOU'RE BOTH CURIOUS AND STUPID if you think you're entitled to a BLOW BY FUCKING BLOW of my romantic life.

There's also the fact that AT LEAST ONE of my current partners WOULD BE SIGNIFICANTLY LESS FUCKING AMUSED by your snooping than I am, and I don't particularly want to GIE THEM AN EXCUSE TO FUCKING ACT OUT.

And that was REALLY MORE INFORMATION than I had to give you, so you idiots BETTER BE FUCKING GRATEFUL.

**GH what was your favorite era of troll history**

Favorite era? MID TO LATE PLANETARY IMPERIAL, hands fucking down. It was a good time for theatrics.

**Since the Vask Glub never happened in this universe, does that mean the Psiioniic is still alive? Along the same note, if Gl'bgolyb is still around, are the other lusi alive also?**

i'M, uH, nOT SURE WHAT YOU'RE ASKING, aBOUT THE pSIIONIIC, cONSIDERING THAT HE WAS A CONTEMPORARY OF THE sIGNLESS, sO i DON'T SEE HOW THE GLUB WOULD HAVE AFFECTED HIM,,,

bUT IN TERMS OF LUSII, yEAH, a LOT OF OURS ARE STILL AROUND, bECAUSE WITHOUT THE GAME, mOST OF THEIR DEATHS WERE PRETTY EASILY PREVENTABLE, eSPECIALLY WHEN WE KNEW WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN,

aND i HAVE TO ADMIT, i WAS REALLY PARANOID FOR A WHILE THERE, aBOUT KNOWING WHERE tINKERBULL WAS,

oF COURSE, kANAYA'S LUSUS WAS AT THE END, oF HER NATURAL LIFESPAN ANYWAY, sO THERE WASN'T MUCH WE COULD DO THERE,

aND tEREZI'S NEVER, aCTUALLY, hATCHED AS SUCH,

bUT, uH, eVEN THE ONES THAT ARE STILL ALIVE, aREN'T ALL AROUND ANYMORE, bECAUSE SOMETIMES LUSII TEND TO GO FERAL, aS THEIR TROLLS GROW UP,,, lIKE NO ONE'S SEEN sEAGOATDAD, aT ALL, iN MORE THAN HALF A SWEEP, aND pOUNCE DE lEON'S BEEN DISAPPEARING FOR LONGER AND LONGER, pERIODS OF TIME, aS HAS cRABDAD, wHICH ISN'T REALLY THAT SURPRISING, cONSIDERING THAT GIANT CRABBEASTS AREN'T USUALLY GIVEN TO LUSUS-LIKE BEHAVIOR, aT ALL,

aND i'M NOT SURE, wHAT eQUIUS DID ABOUT aURTHOUR, bEFORE HE LEFT,

bUT WITH THE RESISTANCE, wE'VE GOT, uH, tINKERBULL AND THE bICLOPS, aND SOMETIMES pOUNCE AND cRABDAD BUT NOT, uH, aLL THE TIME, bECAUSE LIKE i SAID, tHEY'RE BOTH GOING FERAL,

sOME OF THE OTHER REBELS, sTILL HAVE THEIR LUSII WITH THEM, tOO

oR HALF-FERAL LUSII SHOW UP, uH, lOOKING FOR THEIR KIDS, wHO MAY OR MAY NOT ACTUALLY BE WITH US,

hANDLING THAT IS ACTUALLY, uM, a BIG PART OF WHAT i'M DOING TO, uH, hELP OUT AROUND HERE,

tHAT AND MAKIGN SURE NO ONE'S LUSUS, eATS ANYONE, oR ANYONE ELSE'S LUSUS, bECAUSE SOME OF THEM HAVEN'T LIVED CLOSE TO, uH, oTHER TROLLS BEFORE,

**Hey, Subjugglator trainees, (any of you really) but I always thought that it was supposed to be uncommon for people to have psychic powers the higher they are on the Hemospectrum, yet it seems as if all of you have a Chucklevoodoo of some type. Are indigo bloods a sort of exception to the rule?**

well... yes and no? all trolls have ?some? psychic potential {the horns function largely as psychic antennae} but it is true that highbloods tend to have more passive or subtle abilities than lowbloods. I mean, you put someone like me next to a pilot-grade psionic, it's ?always? going to be the other guy who gets picked out as the psychic, right?

but maybe there's more of a culture built around chucklevoodoos than, say, good mental privacy or enhanced senses, or even other forms of emotional manipulation? we're more ?visible? because the empire makes active use of our powers.

**so subjugglator trainees, what would you think if hypothetically gamzee helped create an entire universe?**

If... Gamzee...? Ahahahahahahaha

I'd feel sorry. Really sorry. For the universe. Assuming the universe didn't just. Collapse in on itself. Or something.

Ye@h, uh, why G@mzeee of @lll people?

Nowait, Igotthis, I'd think... ohmirth hahahahahahaGAMZEE?

(>| he's not exactly ho i'd choose for any kind of universe design |<)   
(>| i guess there's worse trolls to make a universe but still |<)

ok, see, I'm conflicted here. because I feel like I should tell Seph to lay off, but I ?also? kind of agree? Gamzee's brand of instability ?can't? be kind to any universe he might help create.

Ohcomeonguys, itisn'tlike pffthahahahahahahaha

I kind .f hOpe ~.meOne el~e w.uld be in charge Of the vi~ual de~ign? But I kind .f think he might cOme u with ~.me cO.l things. Maybe.

**Hi Lazapi, you seem awfully nice and averse to iolence for a troll and especially for a highbblood, how come? What is your stance on culling and how do you think you'll fare in the subjugglators?**

...   
I'm n.t ~ure what tO ~ay t. that?

I mean what, dO y.u want me to ju~tify my entire temperament? Becau~e I d.n't knOw that I can. .r ~hOuld.

**Sollux! It's been a while since we heard from you. Can you tell us somethign about the chat program you use to get in touch with people on the Empire's ships, or is that too ~classified~?**

eheheh 2ure no rea2on why ii 2houldnt.

iit2 called the miindhook 2y2tem or 2ometiime2 iit2 called the only thiing that wiill make kk 2hut up.

and iim not goiing to go iintwo a lot of the techniical 2tuff becau2e that u2ually make2 people2 eye2 kiind of glaze over but iit ba2iically work2 by piiggybackiing on the p2ychiic harmoniic2 of the 2hiip2 helm2man, whiich doe2nt take much to fiigure out when you know what youre doiing.

but any partiicular 2hiip2 2y2tem2 are only goiing to be iin a compatable pha2e once iin a whiile whiich agaiin you can chart iif you know what youre doiing aka iif youre me.

and you need a piilot grade p2iioniic on thii2 end to even open the connectiion agaiin aka me. well not ju2t me on that one we do have a few other piilot grade people here but theyre 2tiill learniing the proce22.

**GH, I'd like to know something. Do you consider yourself an artist, by any stretch? Though a bit... morbid, your painting involving Makara's hand was gorgeous.**

Oh, you like WHAT I DID with the threshecutioner cantina? I KIND OF WISH SOME OF THOSE FUCKERS HAD BEEN WARMER COLORS, but hey, I think I did ok with a cool-color palate.

I mean, it's a hobby? But it's a HOBBY I'VE MAINTAINED FOR HUNDREDS OF SWEEPS. So I guess I KIND OF FUCKING DO by now, yeah.

**So Gamzee, did Tavros ever ind out about the whole... head kissing thing?**

He KnOwS i KiSsEd HiM aNd ShIt WhEn He WaS cOrPsIfIeD.

i'M nOt MoThErFuCkInG cErTaIn He GoT tHe ReAlIzAtIoN hIs HeAd WaSn'T aTtAtChEd At ThE tImE.

We DoN't TaLk BoUt ThAt ShIt AlL tHaT mUcH.

**GH, obviously you enjoy your spot near the top of the hemospectrum, but do you feel it's really necessary? Shouldn't worth be judged by somethign other than the pigment of one's blood?**

Well, mirth, MAYBE YOU HAVE A FUCKING POINT!

We could organize society by WHO'S LIKELY TO LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO BE WORTH SPENDING THE TIME AND FUCKING EFFORT TO EDUCATE.

Or maybe we could favor trolls with psychic powers THAT ARE USEFUL IN A LEADER, rather than just functioning as a PSIONIC BLUNT FORCE.

Maybe by which fuckers have AN INBORN APTITUDE for POLITICS AND THE FUCKING INTRIGUE that results.

Oh wait!

ALL THOSE FUCKING TRAITS ARE DIRECTLY TIED TO BLOOD COLOR.

**Hey GH, do you ever miss being able to live on Alternia?**

Pretty FUCKING OFTEN, actually. The IMPERIAL EDICT OF BANISHMENT completely changed the balance of our ENTIRE FUCKING CIVILIZATION, and let's just say I wasn't THRILLED with where things settled out.

**grand highblood. besides the summoner and the mysterious blueblood instigator, have there been any other fuckers with wings that you know of in all the sweeps you have lived through?**

A few.

Wings are either a FAIRLY COMMON MUTATION or a VERY RARE TRAIT among lowbloods, depending on who you ask. I don't REALLY GIVE A SHIT. But they USUALLY AREN'T FUCKING FUNCTIONAL; the vast majority of winged trolls end up with these USELESS FUCKING FLAPS OF TISSUE on their backs that won't carry them airborne, especially NOT ONCE THEY'RE FULL GROWN, and are as likely as not to GO GANGRENOUS on them and kill them.

In fact, I'm PRETTY SURE the Summoner was the first FULLY FLIGHTWORTHY ADULT I ever heard about. There's been at least ONE OTHER since then, and SHE WASN'T EXACTLY PATRIOTIC, EITHER. I kind of suspect there may have been more, and they've just pretended their wings were defective. PROBABLY PRETTY SMART, considering the fucking record on winged trolls. THESE DAYS, I'd probably just HAVE A FLIGHTWORTHY TROLL CULLED as a matter of course. They're MORE TROUBLE THAN THEY'RE WORTH.

**Condesce what are you up to these days?**

T][e latest Imperial expedition located several promising ][abitable planets. I believe I will personally focus on t][e water world. I ][aven't acquired a good water world in a w][ile. Plus, it's in][abited by intelligent ceh][aloods w][ic][ ][ave My vivengineers excited. Somet][ing about vastly improving t][e screening process for valuable psyc][ic abilities.

**GH have you ever had a faygo**

I've never really ACQUIRED A TASTE FOR PROCESSED SHIT. Especially sugars. Most of the over-packaged crap THIS FLEET CALLS FOOD is marginally edible, but too much PROCESSED SUGAR gives me a FUCKING HEADACHE.

**How did you all find out who your Ancestors were? I know some highbloods actively seek out their ancestors' identities, but I was under the impression that most trolls neither knew nore cared? Basically how did this knowledge come about? And what were your reactions upon finding out?**

BrAmBlE tHoUgHt YoU WeRe AsKiNg ThE nOvItIaTeS bUt ThEn It AlL oCcUrReD tO ThEm MaYbE yOu MeAnT tHe SgRuB pLaYeRs InStEaD? sO I'lL aNsWeR tHiS oNe, CaUsE I'm tHe OnLy mOtHeRfUcKeR aS CaN tAlK fOr BoTh SeTs.

SgRuB PlAyErS, CoUrSe We GoT vRiSkA wHo'S kInDa ObSeSsEd, AnD AlSo We GoT tHe ArChAeOlOgIsT sIsTeR wItH tHe TiMe PoWeR, sHe FiGuReD oUt A lOtTa ThAt ShIt. NoT aLl Of Us FoUnD oUt mUcH NeItHeR. I dIdN't KnOw AnYtHiNg, HaHaHa! BuT ThErE dOn'T sEeM tO Be mUcH tO fInD oUt AbOuT sOmE oF tHe OtHeRs, SiDeS mYtHs, AnD iF mInDfAnG hAdN't TaLkEd BoUt dArKlEeR iN hEr DiArY wE MiGhT nEvEr HaVe cOnNeCtEd tHe ExEcUtOr WiTh EqUiUs.

I tHiNk MaYbE eQuIuS wOuLdA pReFfErEd ThAt. He DoN't gOt A lOtTa MaD rEsPeCt FoR dArKlEeR.

AnD oUt HeRe, In OuR gRoUp, I tHiNk iT's JuSt Me AnD ArSaSt WhAt KnOw MuCh fOr SuRe. ApPaReNtLy HiS dIeD a FeW cEnTuRiEs AgO bUt lEfT mEsSaGeS tO bE dElIvErEd To AnY pErCoNtAtIvUs InDiGoS wHo LiVeD tO cOnScRiPtIoN.

AnD tHeRe'S aN AdUlT lAbRyS sOmEwHeRe OuT tHeRe In ThE eMpIrE bUt I dUnNo If LyDaIn MaDe Up HeR mInD wHeThEr To CoNtAcT hEr. ShE sAiD sHe WaS kInDa UnSuRe CaUsE tHiS tRoLl WhAt MiGhT Be CaLlEd HeR aNcEStOr AiN't CiRcUs FoLk.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile: boundaries are tested, the rebellion continues to amass deserters, the Grand Highblood takes an interest in Gamzee again, Gamzee makes a contingency plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had to adjust how Gl'bgolyb's responses are presented; mouse over each line of her text for the translation, or see the notes at the end of the chapter.

**Eridan I noticed in your last answer you said you were living in a flooded area of the ship. since you lived above water on Alternia was there any sort of adjustment period? what do you prefer, being above the water or under water?**

wwell my gills wwere pretty sore for a feww days but otherwwise it wwasnt too bad

actually the bigger codjustment wwas my wwardrobe

i get soem freedom in choosin my outfits but my old getup wwasnt exactly suited for mobility underwwater

i mean forget the cape the long sleevves wwere causin problems

im not shore i reely prefer either air or wwater ovver the other i mean ivve alwways kind of vvalued the vversitility a bein abble to swwitch back an forth

my eyesights better underwwater though

**To the subjugglator trainees: is it really *that* hard to imagine Gamzee actually doing anythign successfully? I mean, he does seem to have some hidden depths to him - and if the GHB didn't think there was something redeeming in Gamzee, he'd have just had him culled by now, right?**

Yes. Yes it is.

(>| don't mind her i think she kind of feels obligated to answer like that them being ashen and all |<)   
(>| maybe we are all a little hard on the guy |<)   
(>| i mean you're absolutely right if he wasn't pretty capable he woudn't have lasted capricorn or not |<)   
(>| but he doesn't make a point of appearing capable i guess |<)   
(>| like he's comfortable being the butt of a joke |<)   
(>| and as a clown myself i can respect that |<)   
(>| i tend toward more of a straightman role myself but he's ggot a kind of melancholy slapstick air that's really kind of admirable |<)

Yeah, uh, whatshesaid. I can't speak for anyoneinthegroup who isn'tcircus, but it's not really disrespectiful to make funofsomeone who presents himself inacomicalmanner? Especially when we're onevenfooting, I mean I wouldn't just casuallylaughat the GrandHighblood or anything. Not if Iwasn'tsure hewastrying tobefunny. But when we putonthepaint everynightofourlives, we kind of have to expect it'll haveaneffect on howpeopleseeus.

not that Gamz doesn't have some ?serious? issues with how he handles things, of course, clown or not he can be a whiny little shit and he's way reactive. and it's not like being a Circus Cultist means he's suddenly an automatic target for everyone, either, or that he should be. if some stranger {especially some heathen} started laying into him the way we do, I'd ?probably? get a litte pissed off.

Wow, seee, I h@dn't re@llly thought @bout the religious connnot@tions, I me@n except m@ybe on @ "if clowns w@nt to be l@ughed @t, l@ughing is prob@bly @ goood ide@" level? But he doesn't re@llly @ct like he expects to be @ble to do @nything right, @ it's e@sy to go @long with th@t.

We're talking ab.ut the guy whO~e idea .f thinking On the fly wa~ .ffering tO cull .ne Of my be~t friend~, right? Maybe hi~ heart'~ in the right place, but that d.es~n't mean he'~ nOt fully capable .f fucking everything up.

**GH what's your favorite circus act to watch?**   
I'm kind of FUCKING FOND OF acts with TRAINED ANIMALS. EQUESTRIAN ACTS, large meowbeast tamers, THAT KIND OF SHIT. I think it's the NOVELTY of it really - I don't see much along those lines, because YOU TRY KEEPING A TEAM OF PERFORMING HOOFBEASTS on a battle cruiser. The Circus community gets a lot of leeway because of my influence, but there's ONLY SO FUCKING FAR CITING RELIGIOUS REASONS WILL GO on something like that.

Some of the colony planets have Circus enclaves with associated MENAGERIE-CLOISTERS, though. It is ALWAYS A FUCKING TREAT to drop in for Carnival when I'm on planet SOMEWHERE LIKE THAT.

**Lazapi, what other paintings have you done? Have you experimented with different styles in the past?**

Oh man, I d.n't think there'~ a lOt .f arti~tic ~tyle~ I haven't dabbled in at ~Ome p.int, I'e experimented with a lOt .f them. I've been dOing kind .f a lO.~e figurative thing with lOt~ .f ~cribbly linewOrk lately, and I'm liking the ~tuff I'm turning .ut? But let'~ ~ee, prObabbly m.~t ~ignificant... I've dOne quite a few ~ky~cape~, and that mu~clebea~t p.rtraiture that Zahhak like~, and there wa~ like three perigee~ there where I did almO~t n.thing bbut ~ketch cartO.ny rainbOw drinker~, th.~e are prObably the ~tyle~ I've d.ne the mO~t in.

And I've alway~ thOught ~creen printing l.Oked really intere~ting, but the .ne time I tried it, I gOt the equipment all ~et up, and then Ax.lOtlm.m ~Omeh.w gOt ~hut in my ~tudi. and ~ma~hed everything up tring tO get .ut.

**Hey Tavros, are you ever worried about growing wings like your ancestor?**

dO YOU MEAN, wORRIED THAT i MIGHT GROW WING, oR, uH, wORRIED THAT i MIGHT NOT, gROW WINGS?

i MEAN, tHE ANSWER'S KIND OF, yES, eITHER WAY, bECAUSE i KNOW WINGS SOMETIMES, uH, rUN IN BLOODLINES, sO THERE'S A CHANCE i MIGHT GET THEM,

aND ANYONE WHO HAS, uH, tALKED TO ME FOR MORE THAN ABOUT fIVE MINUTES OR SO, pROBABLY KNOWS THAT BEING ABLE TO FLY, uNDER MY OWN POWER, wOULD BE ABOUT THE BEST THING, eVER, fOR ME,

bUT AT THE SAME TIME, i'VE SPENT MOST OF THE PAST, uH, tHREE SWEEPS NOW i GUESS, jUST CONSTANTLY FIGHTING MY OWN BODY, aND TRYING TO MAKE IT FUNCTION IN A WAY THAT'S, uH, iF NOT REALLY RIGHT, tHEN AT LEAST MANAGABLE,

i'M NOT SURE HOW i FEEL, aBOUT THE PROSPECT OF, uM, a MAJOR PHYSICAL CHANGE, oUTSIDE OF MY CONTROL, eVEN IF IT WAS SOEMTHING AS COOL AS, uH, wINGS,

**This si for anyone who wants to answer, but do symbols get assigned to specific sexes? Seems like all the ancestor/descendant pairs what get mentioned are all the same sex. Like Capricorns seem to all be male, and then there's the two female Labrys. Or would it just e that being a different sex is a significant enough difference you woudln't consider them a possible ancestor/descendant?**

Each Sign Has A Certain Set Of Criteria A Wriggelr Must Meet Before That Sign May Be Considered

Blood Hue Within A Certain Range Is Indicated For All Signs And Most Have An Associated Basic Horn Configuration As Well

Other Required Traits Vary By Sign Gender Is Indeed One Common Though By No Means Universal Indicator As Are Dental Patterns Physical Size Lusus Species And Several Other Traits Which Are Readily Apparent In A Newly Pupated Wriggler

However In Most Cases A Troll Will Differentiate Further Between Other Members Of Their Line And Their Specific Ancestor Requiring An Even Greater Degree Of Fidelity Between Their Own Physical Mental And Psychic Traits And That Of The Other Troll Than Is Demanded By The Qualifications Of Their Mutual Sign

**GH have you ever thought abbout overthrowing the empress and taking power in the past?**

Occasionally. Then I remember I'VE FUCKING GOT POWER. As things stand, I HAVE GREATER FREEDOM TO DO MY WORK, and spend less time LOOKING OVER MY GODDAMN SHOULDER.

Also, she's got the PSYCHIC DEATH SQUID of a lusus.

**Equius, what's the project you're working on?**

D--> If you mean the matter that prevented me from attenting an oppotunity for communica%ion with the others   
D--> It was routine classwork   
D--> I was f001ish and assume that my previous e%perience w001d give me an edge on a project   
D--> Unfortunately the method I taught myself to solve a partic001ar problem proved to be woefully inefficient in comparison to the a%epted method   
D--> it became necessary for me to scrap all work on the project and start again from scratch four nights before the project was due

**GH, is there anyone else in the fleet you'd consider a "friend"? Or is everyone outside your quadrants just one big mass of annoying shitheads?**

To be completely fucking fair, my quadrantmates ARE VERY MUCH PART OF THE MASS OF ANNOYING SHITHEADS, THEMSELVES,

But yeah, I've got a FEW friends around. There ain't exactly a WHOLE FUCKING LOT of trolls in this fleet with enough LIFE EXPERIENCE TO MAKE THEM INTERESTING, but there's a few trolls who put up with me despite me being PRETTY FUCKING HARD TO GET CLOSE TO.

**Do any of you who went through sgrub ever wonder about what happened to the human players?**

NO WHY WOULD W3 WOND3R 4BOUT OUR FR13NDS WHO 4R3 4LSO K1ND OF OUR CR34T1ONS 1N 4 W4Y

OF COURS3 W3 WOND3R 4BOUT TH3M! BUT 1M SUR3 TH3YR3 DO1NG F1N3

1 M34N TH3Y GOT TH3 S4M3 K1ND OF R3S3T H4CK 4S W3 D1D 4ND 1F FOUR GOD T13R SGRUB OOPS 1 M34N SBURB PL4Y3RS C4NT G3T BBY ON 34RTH 1TS NOT N34RLY 4S N1C3 4 PL4C3 4S TH3Y M4D3 1T SOUND

1F 1 H4D TO GU3SS HOW TH3YR3 DO1NG 1D PROB4BLY S4Y JOHN CONT1NU3S TO L34D P3OPL3 W1THOUT 4NYON3 B31NG SUR3 HOW H3S DO1NG 1T

4ND ROS3 H4S R34CH3D 1NSP1R1NG N3W H31GHTS OF SN4RK

4ND J4D3 1S ST1LL SW33T BUT K1ND OF F3R4L

4ND D4V3 1S UN1V3RS4LLY R3COGN1Z3D FOR H1S COOLN3SS BBY NOW >;]

**Oh no Lazapi I didn't want you to justify yourself! I just wanted to know what made someone like you willingly chose this career (if I remember well you traveled a week to get on that ship) and also what you think about the GH and his methods and generally the subjugglators' methods and how you think you'll deal with everything!**

Oh. ~.rry.

~ecurity, I gue~~? That ~Ound~ kind .f ~tupid nOw, c.n~idering... bbut my art i~ really what I want tO be d.ing? And that'~ nOt u~ually really an .ption fOr new adult~, I mean, they kind .f want u~ tO pr.ve we're u~eful fOr a few ~weep~ fir~t. ~.me peOple, e~pecially ~.me highblO.ded peOple, d. ~witch career~ a bunch Of time~, but y.u kind Of have t. ~tart Out with ~.mething practical. And nO .ne me~~e~ with a ~ubjugglatOr.

I gue~~ I cOuld have tried f.r a mOre n.ncOmbatant a~~ignment, but I'm n.t really very academically inclined, I have trOuble ~.metime~ with learning thing~ that dOn't intere~t me? I thOught ab.ut dOing ~.mething medical, like JOrmun, but... I can ju~t ab.ut manage taking peOple apart, and I'm getting better at it, but I d.n't think I'd have the bile ~ack tO ut them back t.gether.

And when I wa~ grOwing up, I alway~ really admired the Grand Highbl.Od a~ an arti~t? I mean, I ~till d., admire hi~ art I mean. Even if I'm nOt ~. ~ure abOut the tr.ll him~elf anymOre. I ~till think there'~ a l.t I can learn ~eeing hi~ wOrk fir~t hand.

**Virska, it's got to be pretty stressful being on the run by yourself. Want a hug?**

God, soooooooo clingy! I'm not sure how to m8ke a smily for it, 8ut I am rolling all of my eyes right now. Aaaaaaaall of them.

8ut if it make you feel 8etter, sure, I guess I could put up with a hug.

**Handmaid! In the course of shaping history, did you ever get the chance to watch your descendent growing up? Or any of the others, for that matter.**

Br0adly speaking her era was n0t 0ne my master gave me much leave t0 visit as m0st everythign was set in m0ti0n by then but i l00ked in 0n her a few times

i am s0rry i did n0t have a chance t0 kn0w her as she was gr0wing up alth0ugh the Timeless assure me she is 0k with my absence in sweeps past

**Equius, what's your impression of Gamzee's new friends?**

D--> Novitiate Flarae is admirably aware and willing to avail himself of the right and privileges of his station   
D--> Personally I find him a little overbearing but that is to my discredit and not his   
D--> Novitiate Ultmar is charming   
D--> It is an honor to be approached in friendship by such an e%quisite artist

**Gl'bgolyb, how have you been doing? You're, um, well-fed and not about to start making a racket, right?**

G'roi hnnknai orulolu oot aiai y'doun ai.

Yuiw haog gianwor gpe tha thai thae thie aiiatta.

A'aytorg geuor ge thumg feferi, gaionthas hnn hoai taaimuth, g'log'lon aia tuogom.

Thur' omonth ceola eei go'or.

)(ey, mom, it's ok!

We're doing fine on feeding )(er t)(ese days, so s)(e's not )(ungry.

S)(e )(as bbeen kind of grumpy lately, t)(oug)(. Keeps complaining about being tired. But it's a QUI---ET grumpy! Nofin to worry about!

**Karkat, have you ever considered what would happen if you died? Like if you were captured before the successes of the revolution came to fruition or what the afterlife would be like?**

FUCK.

I'D LIKE TO BE ABLE TO SAY MY FRIENDS WOULD CARRY ON WITHOUT ME, BUT THAT'S PRETTY OBVIOUSLY A PILE OF STEAMING SHIT. NOT THAT THEY WOULDN'T TRY, AND MAYBE THEY'D EVEN MANAGE TO KEEP THE SECULAR PART OF THE REBELLION TOGETHER.

BBUT REALLY IT'S NOT AS IF THERE'S ROOM FOR A FUCKING THIRD SIGNLESS IN THE CULTISTS' WORLDVIEW, YOU KNOW? I BITE IT, AND THERE GOES AT LEAST HALF THE TROLLPOWER OF THIS REBELLION. I'M REASONABLY SURE THE SIGNLESSISTS WOULD JUST KIND OF GIVE UP. AND THE SUFFERERISTS WOULD, I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW, GO OUT IN SOME KIND OF FIREY ASSHOLE BLAZE OF BULGEBITTEN GLORY OR SOMETHING WITHOUT ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING USEFUL.

SO I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE TO AVOID DYING, I GUESS. I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS ON MY TO DO LIST OR ANYTHING.

NO IDEA ON THE AFTERLIFE. WE'VE GOT REALLY LIMITED ACCESS TO THE DREAMBUBBLES SOMETIMES, SO MAYBE THAT'S STILL AN OPTION. I THINK IT'S MORE LIKELY THAT I'D END UP IN WHATEVER FESTERING HELL AWAITS THE GENERAL POPULACE.

IT WOULD BE NICE TO THINK GAMZEE MIGHT KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT WITH HIS WHOLE WE'VE GOT TICKETS TO THE CARNIVAL DEAL, THOUGHT.

**Subjugglator trainees, what do you think of the way the GH treats Gamzee?**

I... wouldn't w@nt to be in Gamzeee's pl@ce? I me@n, he seeems to de@l ok, considering. But he seeems prettty goood @t just... going with it? I'm re@llly not sure how he does it.

~Ometime~ it make~ me kind .f nervOu~, becau~e I'm pretty ~ure it'~ nOt u~ual .r the GH tO pay that much attenti.n tO a n.vitiate, and it kind Of put~ the re~t .f u~ in the in the ~pOtlight, m.re than we wOuld be .therwi~e. And he'~ under way mOre ~crutiny than he really ~h.uld be, which i~ ~cary.

I believe I've used. The term. Blatant, senseless favoritism. To describe the situation.

(>| lazapi's right the grand highblood does seem a lot more attentive to gamzee than i'd think was really normal |<)   
(>| but he's really pretty lenient toward gamzee so maybe it's some kind of weird ancestor-descendant thing |<)

to be honest it kind of scares the shit out of me? it's a really scary position for him to be in, and for me and Seph by extension.

I still say there'ssomethinggoingon there.

**Staiko tell us something about yourself**

I think I'm the oldest of the group? I'm @lmost nine - I me@n it's not like we've gottten together and dr@wn up ch@rts or @nything, but I think I'm at least a perigeee or two older th@n the next oldest noviti@te in our sweeep. (Which I think is either G@mzeee or Rosss@n, but I'm not sure.)

@nd I colllect g@rgoyles, or I did b@ck on @lterni@. I ended up le@ving most of my colllection behind bec@use honestly, that's @ lot of syll@dex sp@ce to devote to @ hobbby when you h@ve to p@ck up everything from your childhoood you w@nt to keeep.

**Are only indigo-bloods allowed to be subjugglators? Or can trolls of any suitably-high rank (indigo or above) join?**

Indigos are the only ones AUTOMATICALLY ASSIGNED to the subjugglators, but SOMETIMES WE GET TRANSFER REQUESTS if some gill-breather THINKS THEY'VE GOT SOMETHING THAT MIGHT QUALIFY AS CHUCKLEVOODOOS. Occasionally I'll EVEN ACCEPT THE FUCKERS if I think they can keep up.

Once in a great while a HIGH BLUE will apply for transfer, bbut I can cound the number who were ACTUALLY QUALIFIED for ANYTHING on my fucking fingers.

**Sephar! Who are you talking to online all the time?**

Oh. You know. People. A lot of the time I'm not so much talkign to anyone. As just surfing. Message boards and stuff. The intraship network isn't the biggest. And the intership network's connection can be patchy. But it's better than spending all my time with the others.

I mean I do have a few friends. I talk to quite a bit. I mean sometimes it seems. Like everyone's on weirdly different schedules. Considering the who ship has the same time zone. Or however you'd put it. When Vollue's around. I like to catch up with her. She's one of my closest friends. And I guess. We're quadrant-corners now? Since she and Arsast. Are matesprits. But the provacatelligence program. Is one of those. With the weird unpredictable schedules. So I don't see her much.

**Trainees: What is the socially acceptable way to feel about killing another troll when you're a subjugglator? How do you guys feel about taking life personally? GH seems to enjoy the Hell out of it, but is that normal?**

(>| that's an interesting way to put it |<)   
(>| taking a life |<)   
(>| it's not like there's actually something there you can i don't know harvest or something |<)   
(>| you're putting an end to a disruptive or undesirable situation i guess |<)   
(>| and a certain enthusiasm and satisfaction with the job is to be expected and encouraged in that it makes for a more effective subjugglator |<)   
(>| most of us aren't quite as enthusiastic as the grand highblood though |<)

**Gamzee bb what do you think you'll be doing in a hundred years?**

sHit, mOtHeRfUcKeR, I dOn'T hArDlY tHiNk I cAn Be GuEsSiNg At WhAt I'mMa BBe DoInG iN oNe SwEeP, nEvEr YoU mInD fOuRtY-sOmE-oDd? LoTs ThAt CaN uP AnD HaPpEn To A mOtHeRfUcKeR iN tHaT kInDa TiMe, MiRaClEs AnD, yOu KnOw... NoT sO mIrAcUlOuS oCcUrAnCeS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of Gl'bgolyb's text:  
> why do you worry there is food there is always food there was less for a while but that is done
> 
> although it tastes hopeless now where is the taste of hope there is only the taste of troll and of violence on my food and sometimes of time
> 
> perhaps soon I will sleep that would be good but there is never sleep there is life but never sleep why is there never sleep
> 
> I am sated do not fear sated but tired


End file.
